The invisible jar of jam

“You must not question, love, this is god’s will”

“But what if his will is wrong?”

“His will can’t be wrong, he is god”

“So he created everything?”

“Yes, everything”

“Everything? Every bit of our existence? With all its complexity?”

“Pretty much, yeah”

“So god must also be very complex?”

“Definitely”

“Who created him then?”

“He created himself”

“What? How the fuck did he do that?”

“What kind of a language is that Kate! He is god; he can do anything and everything”

“How can he do everything and anything?”

“Because he is god”

“So let me get this straight, he can do everything and anything because he is god…”

“Yeah”

“..and he is god because he can do anything and everything”

“Yup”

This wasn’t working for Kate, talking logic was out of question. Her father was adamantly religious. She was a woman of cold calculated logic; he was a man of religion and religion crumbles in front of cold calculated logic.

“Dad, you’re wrong, the whole world was created by an invisible jar of jam”

“What rubbish Kate!?”

“Yeah, the invisible jar of jam guards us against everything”

“Really?”

“Yeah, with her loyal servants a slice of bread and butter”

“The god is a woman?” he was amused, so was Kate.

“Yup, she is the all powerful all knowing Omni – present invisible jar of jam, she keeps us in check you know, and through every jar of jam on earth she controls our lives. She even disapproves of our sexual practices, especially homosexuality; I sacrifice a slice of bread you know, every now and then, that’s how she keeps us happy”

“How is this jar of jam so powerful?”

“Well, obviously she was better than all the other jars”

“How was she better?”

“She had a better shade of red than the others”

“Why did she have a better shade?”

“Well, I told you, she is the all powerful all knowing Omni – present invisible jar of jam”

“So she has a better shade of red because she is the all powerful all knowing Omni – present invisible jar of jam and she is the all powerful all knowing Omni – present invisible jar of jam because she has a better shade of red?”

“Yup”

“What rubbish Kate!”

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